The Fear of It Coming Back

What happens when you're finally feeling well—but part of you is afraid to trust it?

Living with a mental health condition is often compared to riding a roller coaster.

The highs.

The lows.

The sudden climbs and terrifying drops.

But we don't talk nearly enough about the part in between.

The plateau.

The stretch where everything feels steady again.

You're functioning. You're laughing. You're making plans. You feel like you.

And somewhere inside the calm is a question no one else can hear:

When will it come back?

Not necessarily if.

When.

That may be one of the quieter realities of living with serious mental illness—the fear of not knowing when the track beneath you might change again.

When I'm low, I've heard the familiar reassurance:

"We all have bad days."

"Get some sleep. Tomorrow will be better."

The words are usually offered with kindness.

But a mental health decline isn't always a "bad day."

And unless you've experienced one, it can be difficult to understand what hitting that wall—or feeling the roller coaster suddenly move inside your own mind—can actually feel like.

So what can I offer that hasn't already been written about mental health, self-care, or emotional wellness?

Truthfully?

Probably nothing.

But I can offer lived experience.

I can offer sincere understanding.

And I can share what has genuinely helped me.

When I feel myself dipping, I've learned that sometimes I need to stop listening to everyone else and start listening to myself.

I cry.

I breathe.

I journal.

I rest.

I watch a familiar movie or eat a favourite food.

And for a few minutes, an evening, or sometimes a couple of days, I give myself permission to turn inward.

Sometimes being self-centred is key to self-preservation.

Not because other people stop mattering.

But because sometimes you need you.

Being self-centred doesn't always mean, "I only care about myself."

Sometimes it simply means:

"Right now, I am placing myself back at my own centre."

This is also where I return to The REST Method™ — Restore • Evaluate • Stabilize • Transition.

REST doesn't promise to prevent every mental health struggle.

Sometimes the dip has already happened.

Restore first.

Allow the emotions to settle.

Then evaluate what happened, stabilize your footing, and transition back into life when you're ready—not when someone else thinks you should be.

I've also learned to practice REST during the good days.

To notice what well feels like.

To recognize what keeps me grounded.

Because the plateau shouldn't only be a place where we anxiously wait for the next drop.

It deserves to be lived in, too.

I may never know exactly when the roller coaster will move again.

But I'm learning not to surrender today's peace to tomorrow's possibilities.

And when life feels beautifully ordinary, I sometimes still find myself quietly thinking:

Please stay. 🙏

Just one more beautiful, ordinary day.

🌿 Before You Go...

If you're struggling today, perhaps you don't need to immediately fix, explain, or overcome what you're feeling.

Give yourself permission to turn inward.

Ask yourself:

"What do I need from me right now?"

Maybe it's rest.

Maybe it's tears.

Maybe it's silence.

Maybe it's support.

Whatever the answer, listen without judgment.

And if today happens to be one of the good days?

Don't spend all of it wondering when the next difficult one will arrive.

Let yourself live there.

— Shannon K. Shinn

Founder, Dignified Reinvention™

Creator of The REST Method™